2 year old in styling rain coat.

When I was a teenager I refused to wear a coat on a regular basis, despite the fact that my family lived in the mountains of northern PA and not San Diego.  I had assumed that I would pass on this or some other annoying habit to my children, I just didn't expect it to manifest quite so early.  I am sad to say that we have begun the coat battles already.  (I know you're thinking that I should just let her not wear a coat and wait until she tells me she's cold.  However, she is very stubborn and has literally had her lip turn blue and hasn't asked for a coat.  I'm not waiting until the hypothermia kicks in).

10 month old in raincoat.

Anyway, if you live somewhere it rains periodically, your kid will need a good rain coat.  We've had a really great experience with Hatley Raincoats (Amazon) or Hatley Kids (Zappos).  Not only do they come in all sorts of adorable patterns, but they are super practical as well.  They have a soft terry cloth lining that feels good to the kid and provides some additional warmth for those days when it's raining AND 35 degrees out.  They are generously sized so we have been able to use the same coat for both spring and fall of a given year.  And they have lovely hood (tip: use a hair clip to keep the hood on your child's head if you live in a windy city).

While it's true that they can be pricey, you can often find them at "end of season" sales either in brick and mortar establishments or on Amazon.  Because of the generous sizing, you're likely to be able to guess your kids size (we already have our 3T coat ready for next spring).  Also, many of their designs are quite gender neutral and the coats are quite durable so if you do have multiple kiddos this is a great candidate for hand-me-downs.

When imagining the acquisition of children, I often found it hard to imagine having a kid bigger than a baby.  It's almost impossible to imagine how quickly they grow and turn into little people.  It seems like in the blink of an eye they go from tiny mewling kittens to walking, talking, mini humans.  Thus it is even more difficult to imagine how quickly one goes from changing a baby's diaper 20 times a day at the newborn stage to changing it just 5 or 6 times a day once they hit 6 months or so.

We started out using the OXO Tot On-the-Go Travel Wipes Dispenser for diapering when out and about.  It worked great at first.  However, as our baby grew and we were no longer using the wipes on a weekly if not daily basis, we noticed they were often drying out between uses.  This is a mostly solvable problem, of course, since usually one is changing diapers in a bathroom and thus can re-wet them slightly in the sink.

However, we recently came upon an even better solution.  When our second child was born, we took home the package of wipes the hospital had been using.  We then realized that they didn't dry out, despite living in our diaper bag for about two months before running out.  Thus the executive decision was made to switch to the Medline Aloetouch Personal Cleansing Wipes permanently for use when not at home.  Generally I wouldn't recommend a disposable solution when a reasonable reusable one exists, but with 80 large wipes per bag (you would rarely need more than 2 for a diaper change) I doubt we'll be using more than 3 packages a year.  This way, there is also peace of mind that a wet wipe will be available, even if I haven't checked the bag in a long long time.

Also, we haven't started potty training yet (heaven help us) but I expect having permanently wet, large wipes with us at all times will be helpful in that endeavor.

 

So one of the harder things for partners of breastfeeding moms (and to a similar degree, parents of formula fed children, see below for why I make the distinction) is the logistics of taking the kid out to the park, library, music class, etc.

You may have developed a routine for heating and prepping milk at home, but how the heck do you do this without a kettle, making a mess, or trying to explain why you want a cup of hot water but no teabag at whatever sandwich shop you stopped at when the crying begins, especially if you don't want a sandwich right now (see: crying)?

Ok, so what do we need?

• - bottle, preferably with milk already in it
• - milk, if not in bottle already
• - heat
• - contained place to apply heat to bottle

Bottle

By now, you probably have a pretty good mental accounting of how long it takes your bottles to heat (and doubly so if you own multiple models). Our daycare only takes plastic bottles, but we have a small collection of glass ones for use at home for exactly this reason. Glass bottles heat much faster and as every non-lactating parent knows, every extra second listening to your kid scream is no fun. As they get bigger and recognize that "THIS IS A BOTTLE RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, I WILL GRAB FOR THE BOTTLE BECAUSE I AM HUNGRY AND DON'T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF BOILING WATER," this gets only worse. For those of you out-and-about with your first kid, this is exacerbated when out in public (I cringed at every cry in a cafe, on the train, and even in the park. Especially when "well-meaning" old ladies started with their "advice.") I'm getting better with the second, though.  I figure if he hasn't puked on anyone else, we're good.

Anyway, we'll eventually write a post on bottle recommendations (we use the Evenflo Feeding Classic Glass Twist Bottles) but really just go with what works with your pump and baby's disposition.

Milk

The easiest thing is, of course, to store the milk in the bottle before you leave the house, but sometimes you gotta go with a bag (for example, from your freezer stash). You can read about our freezer bag preferences here.

Heat

So now we're at the crux of this all. Boiling water in a kettle and pouring it into a large cup or bowl is how we do this at home.  But, reliable access to boiling water was not something I wanted to count on in the park.

We tried some open-and-they-heat-up pad things, but found them to be garbage. (They advertised they wouldn't burn you because they only go to body temperature.  However, something at body temp takes a LONG time to warm up something that's cold or frozen.  Plus it was very slow to get TO body temp. My wife is the scientist here, but even I know enough thermodynamics to know this won't work). 

So if hot water is what we want, how about a thermos? That brings us to...

Place to Heat the Bottle

While any old thermos would surely work to transport hot water, we found the Tommee Tippee Travel Bottle and Food Warmer to be really useful because the lid over the main thermos part a) helps keep the whole thing relatively cool inside the diaper bag, b) contains spills if you have some leakage, which you shouldn't, and c) serves as a cup you can pour the water into to immerse your bottle and heat it! So for the size/weight of a normal thermos, you get all the stuff you need.

The only complaint is that you have to PAY ATTENTION to the open/close positions on the lid. It's the opposite of what is intuitive and I have poured scalding hot water on myself (or into the lid) a few times. Being a "safety culture" kind of guy, I now verify I have it in the closed position by turning it to a pouring position over the sink before I pack it in the diaper bag.

Could you just use a normal thermos and a cup? Yeah. Is it slightly expensive for a thermos and lid? Yeah. But it's extremely convenient and $20 is pretty cheap for the sanity it enables.

You said something about formula

We've not formula-fed, so I have no specific suggestions, but I do add the following thoughts:

1. 1. There is a ton of formula-specific gear out there that looks pretty cool when I've seen other parents use it.
2. 
   
3. 2. My understanding is that heating to body temperature is not necessary for exclusively formula-fed babies.  This is because breastfed babies are used to receiving milk at body temperature for obvious reasons.  If you introduce formula early enough, most babies can and do get used to drinking it at room temperature.  This certainly simplifies the feeding process.

That said, if you do find yourself in need of a way to heat things, this has been our go-to solution.

It was shocking to me how quickly after announcing our first pregnancy to the wider world questions/assumptions came pouring in about when and what kind of car we would be purchasing (answers: never and none).  Yes, it's true... my name is Dina Aronzon, I live in a city, I have 2 children, and zero (0!!) cars.  Also I am not alone in this decision.  If you've not encountered this phenomenon before, this post will answer all your burning questions about what that's like.

Are you some kind of martyr/hippy/crazy environmentalist/crunchy sanctimommy?

No (at least I don't think so).  The decision to not have a car was not made as a statement nor out of any kind of particular conviction (please! who has time for that kind of thing with the amount of laundry around).  It is entirely one of practicality.  Reasons I don't have a car:

1. 1. It's really expensive to have a car in the city.  You have to pay to park it at your own house (we rent out the parking space that came with our condo for $125/month), at your job (my job downtown charges $350/month to park; even when I worked in the 'burbs it was still $30/month), and everywhere else you go.  Car insurance costs more.  Our combined spending on transportation (monthly transit pass + average Zipcar spending + taxi/uber) comes to roughly $200 a month.  The math doesn't lie.  Plus, we can take all that money that we DON'T spend on parking, insurance, car payments, and gas and spend it on our mortgage.
2. 
   
3. 2. At the end of a snow storm I've never been sitting there thinking "you know what I want to do right now?  Go outside in the freezing cold and dig a hunk of metal out, just for kicks". 
4. 
   
5. 3. I never have to schedule an oil change, get snow tires, or coordinate getting home from "the shop".  Frankly, I'm too lazy and busy to add another expensive and possibly lethal thing to take care of.
6. 
   
7. 4.  Most importantly, in the 10 years that I have been living as an independent adult, there has never been a thing that I wanted to do that I haven't been able to because I don't own a car.

Do you have a driver's license?

Yes. I live in America, I'm pretty sure they strip you of your citizenship if you don't get one by age 25.  Also, I've had to drive equipment around for my job so it's come in handy for professional reasons.  Also also, we do use Zipcars when we need to get somewhere that's not conveniently accessible by transit.  Being able to drive when you need to without owning a car - the future is pretty awesome, isn't it?

How do you get your kids anywhere?

Riding Amtrak with our 3 month old

The same way all parents do - with a lot of patience.  Also with the help of strollers, trains, buses, and as previously mentioned, Zipcars.

15 month old, riding the bus

Toddler says "Hi there, I love my stroller"

And of course, when all else fails, we use our walking feet

You must be sacrificing SOMETHING

Sure, yes.  But once again, this is no different from anyone else.  There are absolutely jobs I haven't taken because it would have meant buying a car and commuting out to the suburbs every day.  This is definitely a  place where I have some luck.  I have not had trouble finding work that fit my criteria.  That said, I have also been flexible as to what my criteria are.  In return, my husband and I commute to daycare on transit where we get to talk to our children, play games, and sing songs with them. They are not stuck completely strapped into a seat, facing a different direction, unable to have meaningful interactions with us.  Also, as a bonus, we don't tend have naps ruined by a cat nap in the car (instead our naps are ruined by toddler intransigence).  And finally, yes, sometimes we say no to activities or events because it would be too much of a hassle to get there.  Then again, there's something to be said for using your time judiciously and just walking your kids to the playground instead.

I have a car.  Are you judging me?

Yes.

I am of course joking. I don't really care what others do. The purpose of this post twofold.  The first is really to dispel the mystery around my family's choices (which frankly aren't that mysterious).  The second goal here is to encourage others who may currently be living car free but are about to have children to consider giving the carfree family lifestyle a try. 

This post is the first in a series of posts about carfree living. Upcoming posts will include thoughts on strollers for urban use, necessary accessories, and whatever else we think to blog about!

Photo Credit - National Sarcasm Society under the Creative Commons License. 

Pacifier clip is the orange thing on the baby's left.

Babies aren't very polite.  They often spit out and throw away the thing they very much want most in this world.  For that reason, some very smart person invented the pacifier clip.  This is a really simple product.  It has a clip on one end, a thick short strap, and a loop at the end of the strap.  The clip can be attached to your baby's clothes, the carrier, the stroller strap, or anything else your baby routinely spends lots of time around.  The loop at the end can be used to secure a pacifier (as the name suggests) or a favorite toy.  That way, you're not constantly chasing the object of their desire around the house/store/car/train, etc.  In particular this is a great way to keep an older baby entertained on an airplane without worrying that the thing they're playing with will fall between the seats never to be seen again.

Many different styles exist, including ones that proclaim your wee one's team allegiances, so choose wisely.

Note 1: There is also a version of these things that is produced by Chewbeads and they were recalled in the fall of 2015 because the beads were breaking off the string and causing a choking hazard.

Note 2: Not all babies will take a pacifier.  However, if your baby will accept one, they are recommended in the first 6 months of life for SIDS prevention reasons.  That said, we do not recommend having your child sleep at night or in unsupervised naps (such as in a crib as opposed to a stroller) with a pacifier clip for fear of them getting entangled in the strap.

    

Suddenly you look at your baby and realize that they've become a toddler.  Suddenly the kid is walking (maybe independently).  Suddenly they're grabbing food off your plate to shove in their little mouth.  Suddenly, everything is different.  With all these changes going on you may be unprepared for the fact that day care and/or your pediatrician suddenly wants them to drink out of a cup.  You look at your wee babe and think "my whole house will be covered in milk, won't it?".  This is the point in time where in years past, parents were simply handed a sippy cup and all problems were solved.  But you may have heard the recent recommendations against them.

And so begins the search for a straw cup that won't spill, won't mold (yes this is a real problem with these things), and that your child can actually drink out of.  On this topic we have 2 recommendations.

1 year old, carrying Avent Straw Cup.

Best spill-proof cup

Our favorite is the Avent Straw Cup.  It cleans easily (including in the dishwasher) and absolutely won't spill even if turned upside down.  Also, I can say that after fully more than a year of use, the cups are still in good shape and for the inexpensive price that is quite something.  You can also buy extra straws if you lose some or your toddler likes to chew on them a bit too much.

For full disclosure, there are a couple of things to watch out for.  First of all, because they are spill proof, they require the child to suck pretty hard to get anything out.  Once they get the hang of it, it's not a problem but it can require a bit of parental miming to get them to do it (don't expect them to drink lots the first couple of times).  Second of all, if you take these guys on an airplane and then open them once you're in the air, you should open the lid first to equalize the pressure (otherwise all the liquid will come squirting out of the straw).  Sometimes this pressure differential can also occur in every day life if you put, say, cold milk into the cup on a hot day and let it sit out.

Straw cup is on the right, ignore the wine

Second best but still good cup

The other cup we've enjoyed using is the THERMOS FOOGO Straw Bottle.  These cups are certainly prettier and just as easy to clean as the Avents.  However, they do drip slowly if you turn them upside down and thus are not completely spill proof.  In our house we pretty much only put water in them for this reason. On the plus side, they don't require quite as much suction to drink and thus may be a better starter cup.  They are also basically twice the price of the cups above (especially if you pick any of their "cute" designs).

Additional care tips

You can certainly use the drying rack you already own after you wash your newly acquired cups.  However, we have found that the baby bottle dishwasher caddies just don't do well with the straws.  For this we recommend getting the OXO Tot Mini Silicone Dishwasher Basket (this has technically been discontinued but is still occasionally available on Amazon).  Also, to properly clean out the straws by hand you're going to need some Munchkin Cleaning Brushes.

Welcome to the next stage of your life - your little babe in arms is becoming a little person!

    

If sometime in your first baby's toddler years, you looked at him or her and thought "Hmmm this one is cute, but getting big.  I guess let's make another one, but smaller!" you may want to read this post. It turns out that just because your oldest can walk and declare things like "No help Mama!!" does not mean you can just leave them somewhere while you go off with your new baby.  In fact, it means that you will be transporting both of them with you as you try and do previously simple tasks like dropping off the dry cleaning.

The traditional route for parents here is to get a double stroller.  However this solution may not work for you because

1. 1. Your oldest is too old to ride in a stroller.
2. 
   
3. 2. Your oldest is 2 going on 22 and has been going stroller free since she was 20 months because "strollers are for babies" (ask me how I came up with this one).
4. 
   
5. 3. Thinking about attempting to get the double stroller through the door of the dry cleaner makes you hyperventilate.

So what's an urban family with 2 hellions to do?

Stroller Handle

This is the absolutely most genius idea ever, put out by the fine folks at Skip Hop. It is a Skip Hop Walk-Along Stroller Handle that attaches to the frame of your stroller for the toddler to hold.  They come in a variety of  colors so you can pick your toddler's favorite one.  Ours is obsessed with owls so this was a major win for us.  We have been enforcing strict hand holding with her ever since she was 12 months (not holding hands resulted in immediately being picked up, which for some blessed reason she thinks is punishment).  Thus, when the stroller came out of storage after the birth of our son it was easy to edit the previous "always hold hands rule" to a "always either hold hands or the owl" rule (she almost always prefers the owl handle).  We've been happily using this for 3 months without any problems.

Ride along platform

Admittedly our toddler is kind of amazing in her ability to walk long distances.  As such, there are really very few places we go that we can't just reach via a combination of public transit and our trusty
stroller handle.  That said, there are a couple of playgrounds in our town that transit doesn't make sense to and are still too far for her to walk both ways to.  For those occasions we pull out the

Valco Hitch Hiker Ride On Board.  This is a board that attaches to the back of your stroller that your child can ride on.  Most stroller brands offer this as an add on.  We have the Valco version because that is the brand of our stroller, though this attachment claims itself to be universal.  Looking at the construction, I would guess it probably can attach to most strollers if you're willing to apply some muscle.  Additionally, what's great about the design is that the board slides into braces that you attach to the stroller.  This means that once you attach the braces, you can take the board itself on and off relatively easily (figuring out where to put the braces and then securing them can take a bit of both brain and brawn, so it's nice to only have to do this once).

In the spirit of full disclosure, there are 2 downsides to using this board (or almost certainly any one like it).  If you have to bounce up the stairs backwards with your stroller in your daily life (like we do to get into our building), bouncing with the board attached can be a hassle.  Also, admittedly acquiring this piece of hardware can seem a bit pricey but there are a couple of things to consider such as the fact that this is definitely cheaper than a double stroller.

And with that, you're ready to go off on your adventures, be they near or far!

  

Boots

So maybe this is just the PTSD talking from having survived Boston in February 2015 (that picture was only after the first storm), but boots really are a necessity if you're going to keep walking, taking the bus/train, and living your life in a northern city. When our eldest was a baby, some fancy designer boots were a fun gift to get, but now that she's 2, going on 22, waterproof, warm, and easy to put on is a must.

Toddler, scared of walking on snow after the 1st storm.

We've had a great experience with Bogs Baby Boots (Amazon, Zappos) (which are a misnomer as the sizes really run all the way up to adults practically). All of them are quite appropriate for boys and girls. Styles are available that will satisfy everyone from the non-conformists to the folks out there gunning for more gender targeted products. The pair modeled in the picture are the "indigo" variant of the Flower Stripe boot. That link takes you to a search for all the various styles and colors.

Back to the practical, not only are they waterproof, but these boots are machine washable so even the yuckiest of slush is not a problem!

Socks

Ok, even a "normal" winter up here means good warm socks are needed for kids and adults alike. Our winner for the whole family is Smartwool. You can search for Smartwool for everyone here (Amazon) or here (Zappos), Smartwool socks have the feel of something thick and heavy but still fit into most shoes. They breathe pretty well too, so you don't have to talk your toddler OUT of wearing them on a warmer day when she REALLY REALLY REALLY WANTS green socks and these are the only green socks you own. For what it's worth, I also own a Smartwool sweater for the really cold days, so they've got me sold.

Note: This post is footwear focused, but in case you're checking this out in the midst of winter weather before we can write about coats/snowsuits. I'll let you know the snowsuit above (that we love!) is from Columbia Sportswear. Find their stuff on Amazon and Zappos.

  

General theory- Carriers are super useful in the first year of life, especially if you live in an urban area and like to go places not in a car.

In the first 2 months of life I really recommend an unstructured carrier (doubly for Mom). The benefits of an unstructured carrier in the beginning is that they tend to be easier to put on and adjust to the adult, especially when your'e still funny shaped from the pregnancy (though keep in mind, you won't be able to use the carrier for the first 2 weeks, but Grandparents and partners can). Also the structured carriers are all built to carry 3 year olds and so sometimes are hard to adjust to the little babies. 

With our first, we used a Moby Wrap. It's basically a very very long piece of fabric with instructions of how to wrap it around you and your baby. It was hard to learn how to put on (Lee never figured it out) but once I did figure it out, it was very comfortable, until she was about 3 months and then it suddenly got very uncomfortable (though I know people who use them with toddlers - god bless them).

The Moby comes in a ton of colors and fabric variants, plus many sports teams are available too, if that's your thing.

Photo Credit: Moby Dick under a Creative Commons license. 

General theory- Carriers are super useful in the first year of life, especially if you live in an urban area and like to go places not in a car.

In the first 2 months of life I really recommend an unstructured carrier (doubly for Mom).  You can see our review of the Moby and Infantino Mai Tai.

Once your baby is big enough though, you may want to get a structured carrier for your and their comfort.  When our first was born there was only one company that made "ergonomic" carriers, i.e. ones that were comfortable for the parents.  They called themselves "ergo" (get it?).  We got one and it was great.  It was an easy way to transport the baby, say onto an Amtrak train, and still have hands free for all your stuff. It also had a "sun hood", which was great not just to protect the baby from the sun but also to help her sleep when we needed her to nap on the go.  It also had a pocket in the front which was a convenient place to store your cell phone/keys etc. if you were just taking a walk around the neighborhood and didn't need that much stuff with you.  Our baby also just enjoyed hanging out in it while we did other stuff and often it was a way to get her to nap when she just plain didn't want to.  We used it with some frequency until the kid was about a year old. In fact we have so many pictures of us carrying her around in it (in the carrier at a wedding! at a train station! with dad working at a computer!), it was hard to just pick 2.

Overall, it was great but from my perspective it had 2 downsides:
1. There was no front facing option with the "original" carrier, which was the only one available at the time. Facing forward would have been much more fun for the kid once she got to be about 4 months old.  Both Ergo and other brands have since come out with structured carriers that have this feature.

2. When the baby is under 3 months, you have to use this really bulky and hot insert with them.  This one was the real bummer, especially since our first baby was born in June and our second in July.  Even in the most recent version of this ("the 360") they haven't fixed it.  Given that other options are available, if you think you'll want to use the carrier before the kid is 3 months, I would say it's definitely worth considering a different brand.

General theory- Carriers are super useful in the first year of life, especially if you live in an urban area and like to go places not in a car.

In the first 2 months of life I really recommend an unstructured carrier (doubly for Mom). The benefits of an unstructured carrier in the beginning is that they tend to be easier to put on and adjust to the adult, especially when your'e still funny shaped from the pregnancy (though keep in mind, you won't be able to use the carrier for the first 2 weeks, but Grandparents and partners can). Also the structured carriers are all built to carry 3 year olds and so sometimes are hard to adjust to the little babies. 

This time around we went with the Infantino Mai Tai. It is waaaay easier to put on than the Moby (Lee has used it all by himself)