If there was a top five list of parenting tasks that I wish I could outsource, potty training would probably take up 3 of the items on that list. (The other 2 places on there would be devoted to cleaning up other bodily fluids in the middle of the night and dealing with children during daylight savings time mayhem).
The conventional wisdom in the US (potty training is a developmental milestone highly influenced by culture) is that most children potty train some time between 2 and 3 years old. I took that recommendation as a directive to spend the entire year panicking about... were we starting too late? to early? did we miss a window? how about now? does a window exist? do we have enough
cleaning supplies? is there really NO way to outsource this? pretty please with a cherry on top?
When one considers this complete panic and barrage of confusing information, it was a super convenient excuse that our second child didn't sleep at all as a baby. "We're too tired to deal with this" we told ourselves every time the topic came up for discussion. Then finally, the baby started to sleep and we were ready to face my daughter's upcoming 3rd birthday. We decided to our big parent pants on and just do it. We signed up for a class at a local parenting center (
The Loved Child, for the local crew), we bought some gear, and we got down to business.
Now because things on the internet are forever, I'm not actually going to discuss the details of potty training. I will say however, that it went far more smoothly than I would have guessed. I will tell you about gear you may need before you start, especially if you live in a house with only one bathroom and/or don't want to be trapped in your house for a month.
Potty seat for families with only one bathroom
When choosing a potty accommodation for your little one, there are many options, but all of them basically solve 2 problems - the kid is too short to climb on the toilet by herself without assistance and the kid's backside is too small to sit comfortably on an adult ring without falling through. So here are the options we considered and what we ended up with:
- 1. Standalone kids' potty (for example).
- Pro - it's easy for the child to get on and off by themselves and it adds a 'second' bathroom for those times, especially in the beginning, when the child is having to go constantly.
- Con - you have to clean it and god forbid it gets knocked over.
- 2. Separate child's seat for toilet and a step stool (screw on version, removable version, folding step stool).
- Pro - I think the screw on option is awesome if you have a dedicated bathroom for your kid and the folding step stool is easily operated by the child.
- Con - If you only have one bathroom, as we do, having an extra ring on the seat seems like a pain as does having 2 removable parts.
- 3. Ring and step stool combination (Mommy's Helper is the one we have)
- Pro - It's one piece of equipment that's foldable and easily operated by the child. It can be stored folded when not in use, thus not interfering with adult bathroom use.
- Con - It's a larger item to store than a ring and stool. Also the kid can and will figure out how to bang the stool legs on the floor while sitting on the potty.
- That said, this is the set up we've been using for months and we've been quite happy with it.
You may also need other equipment for your bathroom - such as a separate step stool for your sink (if you go with the seat/stool combination or stand alone potty) and/or a
faucet extender.
And finally, as with all child related things, you may have found the perfect piece of equipment for you only to find it rejected by the child. Thus, the best potty set up is the one your kid is willing to use.
Teaching your child the potty ritual (aka "for the love of god wash your hands!")
There's a lot to learn when becoming a person. Things that are obvious to you - why you shouldn't dip your hair into the toilet - are not obvious to a child. It's helpful to have a couple books on hand when climbing this mountain. Personally we've enjoyed
The Potty Book for Girls (there's a
boy's version too). Also the Daniel Tiger episode about going to the potty is particularly instructive (
Season 2, Episode 10 - available on
Amazon Prime Video).
Potty seats for families on the go
So that's all great but what do you do if you ever want to leave the house? I really recommend getting a portable,
folding potty seat. (Note: Amazon has a bunch of identical seats like this one - down to the singing teddy - by purportedly "different" manufactures. It seems fishy to me and I'm guessing my link will be broken shortly. Regardless, the seat is good) This seat folds and thus easily fits in your
diaper bag or purse for convenient transport. And it makes the child comfortable and confident in unfamiliar settings. It's also hard plastic and thus easily wiped down.
And with that - may the spirits of good hygiene and compliant behavior be with you!